Fill. I try to fill my days, my thoughts,my musings so as to focus on what is no longer mine. My mind keeps going back to those thoughts that just keep circling, circling, circling in my head. Bit I can no longer stand hose thoughts. I am getting nowhere focusing on those thoughts. I must fill my mind with other things. I must keep busy enough to keep from obsessing on what I have no control over. So I attempt to fill my days with plans. My actions with projects. I must move on from this rut that gets me nowhere.
And I succeed. I manage to keep myself busy enough, focused enough that I no longer dwell on those thoughts. But they are like a bad penny. One action. One thought. And they are triggered once more. Round and round they go in my head again. I drive myself crazy with it all.
Fill. Fill. Fill my mind with a different refrain. I must escape these thoughts that drive me mad.