Five Minute Friday: Change

I have been waiting in anticipation all week to find out what the word prompt would be this week.  Then when it was announced I came up blank. But this morning, during my ten-minute vacation (aka my morning shower), an epiphany hit. So without further ado, I give you my five minutes on . . .

CHANGE

Can you think back to a moment in your life that was the epicenter for huge change? At the moment, you have no realization of what is happening. I am not talking about something big like a marriage, birth of a baby or the death of a loved one. I am talking about something simple that you just didn't give a huge amount of thought to at the time, but later on, down the road, you can see that it was the beginning of something big.

This brings to mind a tsunami. Plates move under the earth all the time.  They move under the ocean all the time. They do not always cause a catastrophic change. But once every while (too often, I am sure, for those who live through the horror), the movement of those plates cause something huge to happen.

A little over two years ago there was a series of "plate movements" in my life. At the time, they just gave me pause and caused me to scratch my head. But in retrospect, I can see that they were the beginning of something huge; something that has been tremendously life changing for me. I am on a new journey. It is scary. It is exhilarating.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Do you want to join in the fun of waiting each week for a writing prompt, then spending five minutes putting your spin on it?

Tuesday at Ten {Gather}

I am so thankful that there are writers who want to share their joy of writing by inviting others to join in and write on a given topic. These wonderful people are so open and accepting of other writers no matter their current ability and flub-ups are always welcome because they have been there and understand.

Today I am writing because of Karen at Finding the Grace Within. Thank you, Karen, for inviting me on this journey.

Gather

At first glance, I think of gathering my thoughts. I am in the process of learning to be kinder to myself-to take the time to care for myself. Today, as I was looking up an exercise video on Pinterest, I clicked onto a link that talked about how meditation is a key element in building a healthy immune system. When I think of meditating, I think of centering my thoughts-gathering my thoughts, if you will.

My brain usually is jumping all over the place, a virtual haven of Mexican jumping beans. Do you remember those? They came in a little plastic case. The beans would jump and dance to a gentle clicking sound. But there was no noticeable pattern. You didn't know which bean would jump next or when it would jump. That's my brain and thought process. So gathering my thoughts would be a relief.

Centering myself and focusing on just one thought at a time is virtually impossible. I do not enjoy sitting in church and listening to the sermon. Not because I do not care for the things of God, but because I cannot make myself focus on the sermon. I tune in for about half a minute, then my mind is off on another path. About five minutes later I will make a conscious effort to focus once again on the topic at hand, only to realize ten minutes later that I have no idea what the preacher said.

What is the problem? Do I lack self discipline? Am I back-slidden? My usual explanation is that I am ADHD. No official diagnosis, but I have serious suspicions. Let's be honest. The answer is that I am just like most other moms. I have about fifty billion pots simmering at any given time. I barely move the pot on the front burner off the stove, before another has to be whisked right into its place. And the truth of the matter is that my stove has about twelve front burners.

What was the topic? Ah, right...gathering. I am discussing gathering my thoughts. I can picture myself in my mind's eye. I am sitting cross-legged on the brown carpet of my living room floor. I have gentle, soothing, uplifiting music quietly playing. My diffuser is releasing a pleasant, refreshing scent into the air. My eyes are closed, palms are laying face up on my bent legs. All tension and stressed is released from my face, my shoulders. I grab onto one thought. I stay focused and centered on that thought. No others penetrate my thought process. I am able to give my complete attention to this one issue. Thoroughly dissect it and solve its nuances. All my energy, breath and focus are gathered into one place.

What a beautiful dream, a worthy aspiration. Out of my reach? Beyond the realm of possibility? No. It is there, ready, waiting to be gathered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want to join in the fun?

Five Minute Friday: Fill

Writing is healing. It's a way to be heard. Maybe not actually heard by anyone, but by the page. Cathartic-that is what writing is. Five Minute Friday provides for a directed form of therapy by giving us one thought to focus on for five soul-cleansing minutes. So without further ado...



Go.

Fill. I try to fill my days, my thoughts,my musings so as to focus on what is no longer mine. My mind keeps going back to those thoughts that just keep circling, circling, circling in my head. Bit I can no longer stand hose thoughts. I am getting nowhere focusing on those thoughts. I must fill my mind with other things. I must keep busy enough to keep from obsessing on what I have no control over. So I attempt to fill my days with plans. My actions with projects. I must move on from this rut that gets me nowhere.

And I succeed. I manage to keep myself busy enough, focused enough that I no longer dwell on those thoughts. But they are like a bad penny. One action. One thought. And they are triggered once more. Round and round they go in my head again. I drive myself crazy with it all.

Fill. Fill. Fill my mind with a different refrain. I must escape these thoughts that drive me mad.

Stop.