Monday, September 2, 2013

True Confessions of a Fermenting Mom

I am a newbie to the fermenting world.  I have now managed to make my first jar of sauerkraut, and I have a jar of jalapeno slices sitting in the cabinet in my sewing room. (Yes, it is in my sewing room.  One thing I have learned is that different ferments like their own space so in the interest of respecting my ferment's privacy, I have grown creative.  Don't judge me.)  I have gotten my milk kefir production down to quite the process.  It involves straining it off at approximately every twenty-four hours . . . except for when I forget  . . . like I did last night.

This morning I was happily lying in bed searching through a kindle book when these words popped out at me, "Remember, if you are baking with yogurt, you will lose the pro-biotic effect at 150 degrees."  Yeah, I know that, no problem.  Hey wait, there is a problem!  I forgot to drain the kefir last night!  Those who are pro-biotic nuts will understand the maze my brain traveled there.

Let me backtrack.  I spent a great deal of yesterday afternoon looking forward to a cup of Blue Banana frozen yogurt.  I was meeting a friend there and we were going to have a little visit.  We arrive at said Blue Banana only to find that the creamiest, best tasting flavor is out and there is no more mix.  We have tasted this particular flavor and noted the texture.  Now nothing else will do.  No Blue Banana frozen yogurt.

I had to make up for this loss once I got home, so I mixed up my homemade, guilt-free, frozen dessert substitute of choice--plain yogurt sweetened with stevia, chia seeds and cocoa powder.  O.K., O.K. I added a few pinches of shredded coconut and chopped pecans last night.  (I was making up for the Blue Banana deprivation.)  To get the best result from this concoction, it must sit for about 15 minutes to allow the chia seeds to do their thing.  No problem.  I wanted to get a shower and into comfy pajamas.  Calgon moment accomplished, I settled into my bed with my laptop and bowl of delight and was whisked away into bliss.  Thoroughly satisfied, I went to bed and slept well; happy as could be.

Until I remembered this morning about the kefir.  Here's the thing.  Bubbie Boy had a sleepover last night.  They are sleeping in the front room.  I don't want two eleven-year-old boys awake at 5:00 in the morning.  Arg!  What to do?  Probably the kefir will be o.k.  I will just wait.  Nope. No can do.  I have to feed those kefir grains.  If they starve, they will die.  If they die, I will be keifer-less.  I. Can't. Be. Keifer-less.

True confession time.  (Cue Mission Impossible music.)

As quiet as a mouse I snuck into the kitchen and retrieved two clean jars, a plastic chop stick, a plastic spoon, my mesh strainer and draining bowl  (I already explained that I have worked out the science of my milk kefir production.  Again, stop with the judging thing.)  I tippy-toed it back into my bathroom.  I then retrieved my precious.  (No, not a ring, the kefir.  Duh!)  And, yes, I strained my kefir in my bathroom.  I admit it.  Hey, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do!

I can justify these actions by saying that I have a water closet, and when the door is closed you can pretend that certain parts of the bathroom are not really in the room.  Also, I have been being very good about keeping the bathroom counters clean, and I was very careful to not put anything on the counter that would in any way compromise the kefir.

I am happy to report that I now have added to my kefir stockpile, two more jars of milk are happily kefiring away and, most importantly, the eleven-year-old boys are still asleep.  The husband is a different story.  When he stated that I was waking him up, I told him that I didn't care.  Priorities, Honey!  Love you, Babe!

Shared at Rich Faith Rising.


  1. Hahaha! I can just see you sneaking around with your kefir. This made me smile. Thanks!

  2. Kefir ... sounds yum and something I have always wanted to try.

    Delighted to meet you today. I hope you don't mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you. This looks like a crazy wonderful place to dip into some serious goodness.



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